Disarm

Disarm

by Louise

Disarm
Trashstock, August 19th 2006

Ah, my third and final interviewees of the Trashstock weekend. And why not save the most shambolic ‘til last?! After being pre-warned about the dangers of leaving this interview until after the show, I went ahead and left this interview until after the show. So, in the backstage room, amidst a drunken haze, MANY interruptions, some accidental glass-smashing and not-so-accidental setting-the-floor-on-fire, I think I managed to chat to the band. I may have asked some questions. They may have been answered. Who really knows?

Lou: Please introduce yourselves…
Tez: (silly voice) Hello, my name is shageee
Brad: I’m Brad
Jamie: (silly voice) I’m Jamie & I play guitar
Brad: He doesn’t say anything anyway.
(Somehow this sparks debates about who’s “soberer” than who)

Brad: (to Lou) You really could have fuckin’ asked us to do this interview earlier!
Lou: But earlier I was comfy on the sofa downstairs!
Jamie: I think it’s better now, man.

Lou: So, how are things in Disarm HQ?
Noddy: Ah, it’s wank, we’re on about splitting up.
Brad: The roof’s leaking and everything but it’s fucking good.
Lou: You’re all happy
Noddy: Yeah
(silence)
Noddy: Come on then, let’s have it out, who’s not happy?
Brad: I’m not getting it out!
Lou: On a scale of one to ten, how drunk are you, Noddy?
Noddy: Seven
Lou: Jamie?
Jamie: Which is highest?
Lou: Ten’s off your face
Jamie: Ah, I’m only about a two or three
Lou: Brad?
Brad: I’m about four, I’ve not had that many. Because we were on really late we didn’t wanna go on really like… (insert impression of drunken tramp here)
Lou: Why not?
Brad: I can’t play when I’m fucking hammered, at all.
Lou: Have you ever done a gig when you were absolutely hammered?
Brad: Once
Noddy: Once, yeah
Brad: It was seriously fucking… It was shit! It was embarrassing. We’ve got it on video as well.
Tez: Is that the one in Sheffield?
Brad: No, it was ages ago, before you joined. Me & Noddy just sat backstage drinking bottles of wine
Jamie: Oh, I wondered why you were shit!
Brad: It was like we were on speed though and we did the entire set in about 20 minutes.

Lou: Describe your Trashstock experience in three words.
Brad: Fucking amazing.
Noddy: Good. Fucking amazing good!
Jamie: I reckon it should be; thank you, Riot.
Brad: Yeah.
Lou: Ok, describe James Riot in three words.
(Laughter)
Noddy: Gay, gay, gay.
Jamie: Loveable gay lord

Lou: So, plans for an album?
Jamie: We’ve gotta write more songs first! We’re supposed to be recording at the end of the year.
(Interrupted by Headrush’s Chris Khosa, coming into collect some belongings)
Brad: Yeah, so hopefully have an album early next year.
Lou: Do you have an album title yet?
Jamie: No
Lou: You’re not very organised, are you? You should be called ‘Disorganised’.
(Interrupted by Headrush’s Dave Leese)
Noddy: (to Dave) Have you got any cigarettes?
Dave: I haven’t, no.
Lou: Would you like to contribute to this interview, Dave?
Dave: Oh, are you interviewing? Sorry.
Lou: S’alright
Dave: I’m ever so sorry. I can be the guy in the interview who didn’t have any cigarettes.
Jamie: What did you think of Disarm tonight?
Dave: Very fucking good, actually. I’d never heard you before but what I heard was fucking good!
(Door swings open and a snippet of song currently being played in the main room wafts in)
Brad: I fucking hate this song that’s on now!
Lou: I can’t even hear what it is
Brad: (sings it) Who the fuck writes that??
Jamie: We’re off on a rant again now!

Lou: Ok, favourite song to play live?
Brad: I dunno, it depends. We just changed the setlist around… It depends because different songs do different things, so…
Lou: Didn’t you say in another interview that you don’t use setlist? But you had one tonight…
Jamie: Well, we didn’t but now we’ve changed it all around
Lou: Oh right, so you didn’t use them because you knew what you were playing anyway?
Jamie: Yeah. But now we’ve changed it to shake it up.
Brad: So people aren’t going ”Oh, they’re gonna play this next”, now they’re going “ARGH OOOH…” (supposed noises of a surprised crowd) and they’re all surprised.
Noddy: Yeeaahh

Lou: What’s been the highlight of your time with Disarm, so far?
Jamie: It’s been pretty fucking cooool! I think the best bit is just being on stage. And when Tez joined, things changed and it just felt more natural.
Brad: The Robin Black tour.
Noddy: Yeah, the highlight so far is supporting Robin Black on tour.

Lou: I have it on good authority that you’re a bunch of sleazy mother effers…
Brad: Motherfuckers?
Lou: But I’m a lady, I don’t say that
Jamie: Effers? Like cows?
Lou: I wanna know who’s the sleaziest
Jamie: What do you call sleaziest?
(Interrupted by The High Society’s Maxi Browne)
Maxi: Hey guys!
Noddy: (points at Maxi) THAT’S what you call sleaziest!
Maxi: How the fuck are ya? Is this fucking chick (Lou) bothering you?
(insert random waffle here)
(more interruptions)
(all interrupters now gone, Brad gaffer tapes the door shut)
Noddy: (to Lou) Are we the most difficult band you’ve ever interviewed?
Lou: I wouldn’t say difficult, certainly very interesting!
Jamie: (to Brad) That’s not gonna work!
Lou: That’s the crappiest gaffer taping I’ve ever seen
Jamie: No, no, stick it under the door handle!
Brad: I’ll do that as well!
Noddy: If we can’t get out now…
Brad: Ah, that’ll do.
Jamie: Carry on
Lou: Ok, so, who’s the sleaziest?
Jamie: What does that mean?
Lou: You know what sleazy means!
Noddy: (laughs) No he doesn’t
Brad: The filthiest
(some discussion goes into it)
Jamie: Tez
Tez: But I’ve got a girlfriend now, so…
Jamie: Yeah, Noddy’s the only single one so, at the moment, Noddy.
(Cue the sound of gaffer tape ripping from the wall as Chris Khosa interrupts again)
Everyone: OOOOOHHH NNOOOOOOO!
Brad: Get out!
Noddy: Have you got any cigs?
(more random waffle)
Jamie: WOOOOOAAHH!!
(he just fell off the table he was sitting on. As did many a glass & beer bottle)
(a hell of a lot of laughter)
Jamie: Carry on!
Noddy: This is why you should have done this interview earlier!
Lou: Well, this is why I wanted to do it afterwards, but now I’m kinda regretting it a little bit!
Noddy: Yeah!
(Brad sets floor on fire, briefly, and almost engulfs his girlfriend’s belongings)
(Dave Leese interrupts again)
Noddy: Ey, mate, have you got any cigs?
Dave: Nah, mate, you asked me that before
Lou: Would you like to re-evaluate your scale of drunkenness, Noddy?
(rowdy discussion ensues as to whether any of their original estimations were correct)
Brad: I just set the floor on fire and nearly all my girlfriend’s possessions! Ok, maybe I’m a five and a half.

Lou: Next question. Describe each band member
(some debate)
Noddy: Ok, Angry…
Lou: Wait, who’s this about? Brad?
Jamie: Yeah
Noddy: Kick-arse. Motherfucker. Come on, join in someone!! I can’t say caring & shit like that.
Brad: I’m a moody bastard and I hate everything.
Jamie/Noddy/Tez: Yeah
Lou: Ok, that’ll do. Next.
Jamie: Noddy.
Brad: He’s a bit of a ladies man but in his own special way.
Noddy: In his own special way?! What’s that meant to mean?
Brad: I dunno, you just are! You are a ladies man but you’re not.
Lou: Does that mean he thinks he is but he’s not?
Brad: No, he doesn’t think he is, he can just go “how you doooin’?”
Lou: Jamie?
Brad: Doll’s head but he’s fucking amazing on guitar
Jamie/Lou: Dolls head???
Brad: He can’t even print out a mailing list!!
Jamie: Oh no, no, no…
Noddy: You even shut your own head in the fridge while you’re looking for beer!!
Brad: Umm…he can’t add. He can’t take away… He’s amazing on guitar but anything else, someone else has to do it. But he’s right pretty and he gets all the girls coming to see us.
Lou: Tez?
Jamie: Tez is umm… alcohol and drug fuelled knobhead
Noddy: That’s no joke, either!
Jamie: He’s good for drugs and he’s good for fucking playing drums
Noddy: Yeah, that’s about it

Lou: Ok, any final thoughts/words.
Jamie: Let’s get beer.

www.disarm.info
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