Top Gear of the Pops. A disaster in the filming? Not quite..
Thursday night. Happily plonking along on the laptop, not a care in the world beyond the next day’s maths lesson and what on earth I was going to say about baptism by immersion. google alert Justin Hawkins. Oh yeah.. I heard of him. Nice boy with kittens. I haven’t been reading the alerts much, they’ve all been the same stories about Eurovision, but as things were quiet, I had a look. A link to some blog, saying something about Comic Relief. WHAT??? Justin/TOP GEAR/band???? I’ve never moved quicker to a website. Okay. 50 top pledgers to RND2007 get a pair of tickets to filming on Sunday. Closes at midnight. Quicker than a.. a… fast thing I pledge, conveniently managing to forget to mention it to Mr 2. Oh well, plenty of time for that if I win, which I didn’t think was terribly likely once the news gets out. I don’t have huge amounts of cash right now. BUT I did win! What a nice way to finish a school week, finding that email. Mr 2 took it surprisingly well, I must say, and it was his idea to set off on Saturday morning and stay in the wilds of Surrey overnight. (Not that he had that idea until we were on our way to Sainsbury’s on Saturday morning, but a very good one it was.) Guildford is very nice, readers. Anyway, less of the ramble.
After floating round Surrey all day and checking we knew where we were going, we arrived in a carpark at about 6 and had to kill time until collected for a short yomp round the back of the airfield to the studio. Huge hangar – oo those stretch limousine things they made last week are here. Silly buggers. Had a good wander round, took one or two photos of the set. It’s cold – not unexpected, but it’s seeping up into my boots from the concrete floor over the hours. I guess we arrived in there at about 7.45. Naturally we’re asked to take coats off as they don’t look great on camera. Neither will I, I’m having a bad hair week. There’s a fair amount of setting up going on, health and safety announcements. No loo in here. I must have gone about 5 times in the mobile loos before, after the marathon bladderfilled experience at the Friday Night Project.
As most of you know by now, this was Top Gear of the Pops. Enough to make you 0_0 on its own. But as we know that Jeremy, Richard and James will BE in a band with Justin singing, it was quite intriguing to say the least. Filming starts, with presenters wandering in. We’re over by the band stage. I’ve come all this way to see Jus, and I’m gonna be at the front, although naturally this is purely for journalistic reasons. Can still hear what’s going on over there, where the presenting bit is going on. People being moved by the floor manager all the way through, machinery being moved about. Rooney the warm up man. I have a few walks round the place to stretch. Standing about a lot gives me backache these days, you know. Lethal Bizzle are on first with their new single, of which I understood not a word. Personally, I find rap/hiphop etc impenetrable. They’re well received, though. McFly are there! (there’s another tiny stage in the far corner) and are given a challenge. Write a new song without the words ‘love’, ‘baby’ or ‘heart’ but WITH ‘sofa’ ‘Hyundai’ and ‘administration’, to be performed at the end of the show. Interesting.. Mr Hammond looked remarkably fit and well, all three on good form, the usual cockups abound and lots of applause being rerecorded. I’m not going through all of the programme, you’ll have to watch. There is a general music history lesson, and a chart rundown, though. Scuse me if I’ve lost track of the EXACT order of things but you get the idea.
Travis appear onstage with their new single, a pleasant sound.. three times they do that, with rugby banter flowing. Apparently there was some game that Scotland lost. They played to a backing track with live singing. Supergrass were pretty good, played completely live and had ADE EDMONDSON playing guitar. A god amongst comedians. Unannounced. Doing very silly rock god impressions and playing that axe like Comic Relief depended on it. Still, not bad, if a bit of a feedback freak aagahhh. This was run through twice, an untainted version, and one where TG intervened. Dry ice, enough to suffocate everyone on stage, billowing out of twin exhausts behind Mr Goffey’s drums. A HUGE wind machine blowing the living daylights out of the band. And.. doves and pigeons. James was in charge of releasing them in an overblown rock gesture. Not while the wind machine was going, I might add. They didn’t want to play, though. Fluttered and landed about 5 feet from the unfortunate James, flew off over the crowd into haircuts, and crawled under the barrier at my feet. I picked it up and looked after it until the end of the song, poor thing, it didn’t need big people stamping on it. Even the chicken placed very carefully on stage refused to play. I don’t know what will get cut out of that..
McFly managed to perform their cracking new tune with great aplomb, getting all the words into a rocking little tune. Not bad work, lads!
Finally finally the stage is set up for the big event. A massive set of drums, Jeremy won’t know what to do with all of those! Three backing singers, two keyboards, guitarist.. Jeremy banters with all and sundry. He’s had seven lessons, and predicts a disaster. This is the first time they’ve played together, after a quick rehearsal yesterday. James’ music degree is cruelly brought up, but the poor boy reminds him that this is a far cry from the Bach he plays at home. Richard looks like he can handle a bass, but also looks terrified, as well he might! Justin is introduced at last and appears in black shirt, dusty lilac trousers and leopardskin boots. Never one to dress down if there’s no need! We’re getting Billy Ocean’s ‘Red Light’ thanks to Clarkson. Those backing singers are REALLY good, and indeed carry the whole thing right through. Justin has idiot boards with the lyrics.. they do get a long way through on the first take. Justin gets himself warmed up. Second take – Jeremy somehow loses a drumstick, claiming that his hands banged together. His drumming is awful, I’m reliably informed, but he does know he’s speeding up and slowing down, and threatens to do it on purpose. Richard has SOME idea of what he’s doing! He said last time he played a bass he broke it on someone – I’m sure that’s what he said! Jus stops two takes, doesn’t seem comfy, plainly confused cos he’s singing but it’s not matching the music – is it his fault? Ah. There’s a line of lyrics missing. ‘I’m a professional! I sing what I’m told to!’ The guy looking after the idiot boards is immediately banished to Gardeners’ World. The vocals/music match a lot better after that! Justin relaxes into his singing take by take, adding flashes of falsetto and vocal flourishes. Knickers appear on stage and are festooned round Richard – they are returned to the audience for the next take, to be thrown again. It was difficult to hear Justin at first, but that mike was quiet for Supergrass, I thought It’s a triumphant finish when they run it all the way through for the last time, I suspect partly in relief!
Yeah, it was a shambles, that last song, but it could have been so much worse! It was recognisable, they had professional help, and we were willing them on, greatly entertained. All that could be asked for. Top Gear will have another series, which is just as well, as the three lads need to stick to the day jobs.. Kudos for doing it though.
Now for the Justin bit. He looked healthy and smiley. As gorgeous as ever, no trace of any kind of arrogance, of which he’s often been accused. No scene stealing (although he can do that without doing very much, tbh). Doing his job quietly with no fuss, standing in the crowd and talking to people. I overheard several people behind me saying he’d spoken to them. To see him back on stage and to hear him singing again was just sublime.I was proud. I don’t know how he felt. Am I right in thinking that it’s the first time on stage since last summer? A few qualms would have been perfectly natural, and the contrast between this and a TD gig could not have been greater. I find that the more time passes, the more time I have for the man I’ve been following for so long. I think he’s more of a man than he was, my friends.
He’s a very busy man just at the moment. Good luck for Saturday, Justin, and Happy Birthday.
Lyrics follow! Plus photos. We weren’t allowed to take many, and the one of Jus didn’t come out somehow! WAAAAAHHH!!!!
Red light spells danger
Can’t hold out much longer
‘Cos red light means warning
Can’t hold out I’m burning
You took my heart and turned me on
And now the danger sign is on
Never thought the day would come
When I would feel alone without you
An’ now I’m like a child again
Calling out his mama’s name
You got me on a ball and chain
Doin’ things that I don’t wanta.
I can’t stop running to you
Feel love coming through you
Girl with you beside me
Hold on, heaven guide me.
Red light spells danger
Can’t hold out much longer
‘Cos red light means warning
Can’t hold out I’m burning.
Red light spells danger
Can’t hold out much longer
‘Cos red light means warning
Can’t hold out I’m burning
I had my funk
I played around
Without a love to tie me down
I always used to kiss and run
I never wanted love to catch me.
I thought I had a heart of stone
But now I’m in the danger zone
I can feel the heat is on
Soon the flames are gonna catch me.
I can’t stop running to you
Feel love coming through you
Girl with you beside me
Hold on, heaven guide me.
Red light spells danger
Can’t hold out much longer
‘Cos red light means warning
Can’t hold out I’m burning
Red light spells danger
Can’t hold out much longer
‘Cos red light means warning
Can’t hold out . . .